Last night, I sat on my couch and turned on a live stream of the US election reporting. The volume was off, but red and blue light flickered in my periphery. I’d glance over every few minutes to absorb the updates, and as the results rolled in, my anxiety began to bubble up. All I could do was furiously type out my thoughts and feelings in silence, like a therapy.
I wrote and I wrote, and finally at 1am, I took a melatonin and forced myself to crawl into bed. I felt anxious, fearful, and depressed, but I knew that I couldn’t let the negative feelings percolate forever. I resolved that tomorrow, I’d wake and I’d bring a little positivity into the world. It took about an hour to fall asleep, and then nightmares danced around in my mind until morning.
While there is still a raw rumble of anxiety in the pit of my stomach, I am working on forming a feeling of hope in my heart.
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